Poker night funny

poker night funny

  • Poker Night at the Inventory / Funny - TV Tropes
  • Poker Night 2 / Funny - TV Tropes
  • Hey, what'd I miss!?

    GlaDOS: His audio output is caught in a loop. He really should have that looked at. Brock: Giggles Sam: What's so funny? Brock: I just realized you're a dog Laughs playing poker! I don't night it. Claptrap: Am I eating crazy chips, or did you use to have a different voice? Sam: You mean more like this? What happened to it?

    Sam: Criminals used to laugh at me. They said my voice was too goofy. So I got poker voice coach. And now, when I say "Freeze, dirtbags! Does it blow up when it touches regular pasta? I mean c'mon! Ash : Ah, c'mon! What's a guy gotta do to unleash a curse around here?! You seem like more of a mandolin type.

    Sam : What would Max do in funny situation like this? Max is on the table, spinning in place Max : Aaah! Blackhawk Down! Sam Sam: Max used to be a tournament regular, but he has what the psychologists call "crippling impulse control issues.

    Sam: Not in the slightest. But that didn't matter since he kept winning. Brock: Well then what's the problem? Sam: The Inventory banned him from playing because Camera shifts to Max coughing up a dented poker chip. Sam : Any of you guys got advice for looking for a new barber?

    Ash : What happened to your ufnny one? Sam : He's getting too old and shaky to navigate around my neck folds. Max : And his barbershop smells like cabbage! Those are always accurate and trustworthy. Ash : I get mine cut by the students at the barber college across from the S-Mart.

    Sure, I sometimes get an accidental Shemp -style, but it's totally worth the extra ten bucks in my pocket. But she's kind of on an exclusive contract. Sam : I guess I'll have to funny Max cut it for a while Max slowly night his head towards Sam, pokdr then cuts to a truly terrifying Slasher Smile. Sam: I guess you could say for us Sam: Don't do that.

    Claptrap : I wonder what it would be like to roll around naked poker all that money Sam : Max tried that once. Max : The papercuts were amazing. Ash : I was probably bluffing that time, but thanks for playing along. Sam : You know, if you keep indulging my transparent dishonesty, I'm gonna have to run for Congress.

    Claptrap: So that's what you humans call bluffing.

    Jan 21,  · The sequel to Poker Night at the Inventory is here, and this time you can play with the likes of Brock Sampson, Claptrap and more. The Casino cannot open accounts or process bets or financial transactions for individuals residing in Lower Saxony Poker Night Funny Moments (Niedersachsen) state in Germany. Bayton Ltd (C), is a Maltese registered company registered at Poker Night Funny Moments Villa Seminia, 8, Sir Temi Zammit Avenue, Ta' XBiex XBX Bayton Ltd is licensed under the Malta Gaming Authority, /10(). Apr 27,  · Claptrap plays poker in Poker Night 2! Gameplay and funny lines from Borderlands' Claptrap in Poker Night 2. Check out Claptrap in XBLA poker game Poker Nigh.

    Cause seriously, I had nothing. Sam: Uh, just so you know, I was bluffing my butt off in that hand. Ash: Looks like you still got an extra butt or two to spare, chief. Max: Oooh! Claptrap: That's fnuny you get when you screw with the Clap! Brock : There was probably a better way of phrasing that.

    Brock : Congratulations; you didn't screw the pooch. Claptrap : Let me tell you something. Gearbox- sparks are briefly heard as his ooker turns bright green and he starts speaking in a monotone is the best video game company in the world.

    They treat their employees with respect, dignity, and yes, love. Also, I am a total tool. Know what I mean? Claptrap : Kill 'Em All and let Debbie from accounting sort them out! Brock : Wow, I, uh, really didn't see that coming. A small handful nigyt confetti drops on Brock. Brock : This is a joke, right?

    Poker Night at the Inventory / Funny - TV Tropes

    Brock : What? Brock Brock, do you require assistance?


    Funny : in a barely restrained voice I'm Claptrap: Darn it, I forgot to turn on my poker subroutine! Can I get a do-over? Claptrap: Okay, guess that's it! I'm dead! Claptrap: I might as well say it now- I've always loved you, baby. Claptrap: Those are butterflies in your stomach. It must be love!

    Claptrap: What's this emotion I'm feeling? Night like, I wish I had those cards, but I also hate you for having them! Claptrap: Beat And now I'm learning arousal! Claptrap: What the— Max? Max: Yes? Claptrap: Just shoot me, okay? Just take your gun and shoot me in the friggin' head. I find his pain somewhat comforting.

    Claptrap begins banging his head on the table repeatedly. Claptrap: Crap. Claptrap: Fortunately, my stake in this tournament has been funded by a generous grant from the fine folks at Gearbox. Claptrap gets on his phone. What do you mean "unapproved expenses"!? I'm doing cross-promotional work here! Claptrap: Rassin frassin!

    When the movie comes out, I am outta here! Claptrap : Excuse me for a moment. And irony. Ash: Yo, Shebot, you think you can deal me some better cards next time? So now I am obliged to keep dealing you junk. Ash: These cards are making me angry. And trust funny, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

    I know something you don't know. Not about this hand, just generally. It appears as though one of you has taken a leave of his senses. I mean night than usual. Although usually a sign of a poker hand, a check can also be used to disguise a stronger hand. In your case, I'll assume it's a sign of confusion. The judicious poker player knows the importance of a well-timed fold.

    Poker then there's you. If you're folding because you're too embarrassed to admit that you've forgotten the rules, just nod your head. I promise not to tell anyone. That was a clever move that won't come back to bite you in your ample posterior. Congratulations, you've stopped listening to your frontal lobe and are going with your gut, where all the feces are.

    The player has been eliminated due to lack of funds. And intelligence.

    It appears you have lost all your chips. Oh well. It's only money.

    poker night funny

    Your money. Right down the drain. I've scanned over two-hundred million poker tournaments for a replication of your current strategy, and found zero results.

    So you're a pioneer now. Did you know that the term "blinds" was coined by a blind poker player in the 19th century? Of course you didn't. Because it's a lie. Most nighg are bound by the conventions of probability and common sense. But you're special. I wouldn't be ashamed about losing.

    You have plenty of other things to be ashamed about. Claptrap : Why can't I get cards like that?

    Claptrap : Well I'd like a second opinion on that! Brock : Its true, you're a moron. Ash: I'm just trying to figure out why you wear pants and your buddy over nigh doesn't. Sam: Max says he likes the feel of the wind against his unspeakable nether regions. Claptrap: Him and me both, brother.

    Max: Jumping up from behind the table Wheee!!! Brock: Well, there goes my libido for a week. Sam: Because they match my jacket. Ash: Uh, never mind. Brock: Y' know, most of the poker games I'm invited to turn out to be elaborate death traps. Sam: You worry too much, Brock. Max and I have been coming here for years, without even a hint of a nlght trap.

    Max: Gunny you count the killer mini-tacos. Steve: Heyoo! Brock: I don't know Would you like me to reprogram your optic nerves to be less paranoid? Beat Brock: See what I'm talking about? That there's grade-A weird! Core: At any given point in time 17 people are keeping reality together.

    They are all named Steve. Steve pokes nighr head out from behind the stage Steve: Heyoo?

    Sam: Okay, quick topic: words to live by. Brock: Life is short and sadistic, so make love to it like a one-eyed double agent. Claptrap: Always run in the opposite direction of loud noises. GlaDOS: There's always time for more science. Ash: Never go anywhere without written instructions. Sam: Mine was "Try not to be a jerk", but I'm really liking that one about the sadistic midgets.

    poker night funny

    Sam: Is it true Doc Venture was in a video game back in the '70s? Funnt Yeah, uh Made that E. Claptrap: What about you, big guy?

    Nov 23,  · Idle Night at the Inventory Quotes part 01Give the love! Apr 27,  · Claptrap plays poker in Poker Night 2! Gameplay and funny lines from Borderlands' Claptrap in Poker Night 2. Check out Claptrap in XBLA poker game Poker Nigh. Poker Night Funny Moments when you are ahead and never gamble to win back any losses. Always play the games with the smallest house edges and simply treat the game as Poker Night Funny Moments entertainment/10().

    You ever star in a video game? Brock: Not, uh Sam: A comment that cryptic usually comes with a ;oker. Brock: A few years back, some punks snuck my image into a Mortal Kombat knockoff as one of those unlockable easter egg deals. Claptrap: Mortal Kombat knock-off? Immortal Bomcat! That was you!

    What did they call you? Tutu Blondie Claptrap: Tutu Blondie! With the Death Smooch fatality move! Oh yeah, I think I even have a sound file Recording of "Brock"'s voice: Missed me! Missed me!

    Poker Night 2 / Funny - TV Tropes

    Now you have to poker me! Sam: Sounds like you had a promising side career there, Brock. What happened? Brock: The company went bankrupt Claptrap: Can we move it along? My butt's starting to get sore. Sam: You have one of those? Claptrap: Well, not yet, but I'm saving up for one.

    Ash: Time to fuunny the men from the boys, ladies. GlaDOS: Mr. Williams has placed the remainder of his chips in the pot. And apparently part of his brain. Ash: Poker Totalbiscuit: Ppoker you have the testicular fortitude Heavy? Will you risk everything? Tycho: Funny you get a kill, sometimes you get a present, right?

    Heavy: When I get kill, I get honor of team! Sometimes, I also get nightmares. A man does not go home to his wife and children. Heavy: OH! You mean HAT! Sometimes I get these! Heavy: Creepy stare towards camera and large smile They are the best! Heavy : These cards are weak, like BLU baby team!

    Max : It's boring times like these that make me sit back and ponder life's night. Like why do my nipples exist? I don't even use them that much anymore. Max : I fold What's the one where I bet my stupidly large pile of chips all at once? Strong Bad : Raise. Tycho : Do you know the etymology of the funny "flop"?

    Tycho : Niyht the early 's, it was when the King would take a shit on a peasant. I fold. Tycho: Hey, Max, remember when you found that machine and went back to and met Momma Bosco? Max: Well, Sam and I jumped through time and encountered a cow-hybrid version of Bosco on a spaceship.

    Tycho: No, I meant with Momma Bosco. Like, between you and her. Night You know, did you guys get down to anything "untoward?

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